Sunday 31 July 2011

Tarot - Eight of Cups (First Posted July 10, 2011)



To feel splendour (to feel the sensation of a peacock's tail fanning gloriously open inside you) in the suit of cups – also recognized as the “realm of water” and, by another name, as the “world of feeling” – is to detect what feeling is lost/buried/missing, to don your scarlet cape and boots and draw on the magnificence of your courage to journey deep within to seek and engage it. 

If you look deep enough, and if you are honest enough with yourself,  you will discover your full complement of feelings isn't complete until you seek, wrestle with, claim and bring to light your feeling of "despair" - the very feeling you normally seek to avoid. 

Why would this be so?  Why does setting out under the pale glimmer of the moon into the dark shadows of your inner recesses to bring forth your feeling of abject hopelessness eventually result in you feeling splendour?

It's because to dwell in the "world of feelings" is to be in the place where you feel the internal energetic and unceasing presence of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams and your burning desires.  And so, of course, what you try to keep hidden from yourself is your feeling of despair (of ever materializing all this that feels as essential to your life as the very blood running through your veins).

So, it takes the mustering of all your courage to choose to retrieve your feeling of despair, bring it forth and allow it to occupy the space midst all you hold dear knowing it eternally threatens to sear you to the bone before knocking you to the ground and draining you of your most cherished feelings which brightly colour your existence and - greater still - give you a reason for living.

However, by deliberately exposing your hopes, dreams and desires to your feeling of despair (that they can ever be realized) you go a long way to fully claiming your citizenship in the "realm of water" which, in turn, leads to a feeling of splendour blazing across your being. 

For, in the Suit of Cups it is both your privilege and your duty to "feel it all" and grasping the thorn of despair not only provides balance (albeit through introducing suffering) it makes that which it threatens all the more precious.

Now move forward from here  ...

Striking The Archetypal Nerve (First Posted July 10, 2011)



Although she did not read the Harry Potter series, she did make a point to see the first movie to try to understand what this popular phenomenon was all about.  It immediately became clear to her that what author JK Rowling had brilliantly done was feed the hunger of young (and not-so-young) readers for a well-crafted, archetypal story.

On the other hand, after hearing Oxford educated (and part-time Oxford professor), Philip Pullman, being interviewed she did read - and deeply appreciate - his fantasy (archetypal) series, "His Dark Materials" the title of which comes from  seventeenth century poet John Milton's Paradise Lost, Book 2:

Into this wilde Abyss,
The Womb of nature and perhaps her Grave,
Of neither Sea, nor Shore, nor Air, nor Fire,
But all these in their pregnant causes mixt
Confus'dly, and which thus must ever fight,
Unless th' Almighty Maker them ordain
His dark materials to create more Worlds,
Into this wilde Abyss the warie fiend
Stood on the brink of Hell and look'd a while,
Pondering his Voyage; for no narrow frith
He had to cross.

— Book 2, lines 910–920

(Aside:  Please note Milton's reference to the 4 elements in line 912).

Currently, at the recommendation of one of her military clients at the barber shop who piqued her interest when he placed himself (as someone who is "trained to kill") in the plot of Cormac McCarthy's novel, "The Road", she is reading the first volume of "The Hunger Games" trilogy.

Like Rowling and Pullman, author Suzanne Collins has written her stories to appeal to younger readers.  What this means - in the case of all 3 authors - is the writing style is simple, yet elegant,  while the story itself is strong, well-crafted and strikes the archetypal nerve of its reader (which, under these exact circumstances, can legitimately and joyfully be of any age).

In Collins' case, the main classical source of her inspiration came from the Greek myth of Theseus and the Minotaur.

Yum!

Go Forth As The Rain - Illustrated Haiku (First Posted Jully 5, 2011)

Whirl Winds (First Posted July 4, 2011)



Again today she was given an opportunity to reflect on the similarities between her Abyssinian cat, Kipling, and her son, Worth.  With her long established astrological filter in place she can't help but be open to perceiving ways in which they seem to be alike, and her focus in this area seems to have sharpened around the time of their recently shared birth day and month (May 28th).  

As an opening sally she stated they are both, in their own way, “a dream come true” (blog:  "Ava - Happy Birthday To A Fine Pair of Fellows").  She can truthfully say this about both of them because she literally dreamt of a male coming into her life and changing it in a way of primary importance (free download: "LWFHLS - Part 4") - a premonition unexpectedly fulfilled through his fathering Worth, the only child of her body - and because she long "dreamt" of learning what living with an Aby would be like.

Today she actually experienced how similar Worth and Kipling are in (you might say) a "behavioural  way" and/or in their "basic nature".

This is what happened ...

Arriving home with a lot on her mind she accidentally left the patio door open and unattended on her second storey landing.  Kipling, naturally, seized this opportunity to satisfy his burning curiosity about what lies beyond the threshold of his dukedom.  She found him down in the grass - quivering with aliveness but also with a degree of tentativeness - and she was able to gather him up and bring him back inside without any evasion, or protest, on his part.  But, once indoors, he gave her a piercing look which said, "So, that's what you are keeping me from.  That's totally fucked up!"  He then immediately began clambering on the screen door, trying to force his way out, with even more intensity than usual.

Which, he did, in almost the next breath because she had to go out to get something on the deck and he seized this opportunity to streak past her with ease.  This time she was right behind him and this time he gave every sign he was determined to evade her clutches.  So, she sat across the top of the stairs and allowed him to explore the deck without feeling the pressure of her pursuit.  When she eventually made another move towards him (and here's where the situation gets freaky) he gave every indication he was prepared to slip through the railings and jump down one full storey to the ground below.  HELLO!

Well, thankfully, she managed to capture him without incident and return him to the right side of the patio door but she was very shaken by his willingness to "roll the dice" in a bid to be free of all restraints hindering him from exploring the great outdoors.  That he is designed to thrive as a full-blooded feline (indoors and out) she kenned about him right from the beginning.  He simply oozes "catness".  So, she was already ambivalent about the true appropriateness of keeping him safely indoors.  Now, after the glaring look he gave her (backed up by his behaviour revealing the extent of his need for freedom) she is going to have to resolve her ever-increasing feeling of being torn and she isn't quite sure how to do that.

Because:

She was able to see her son reflected in her cat's behaviour.  Worth has a great need to roam far and wide in order to test his limits.  He has to see, touch, test, experience and get involved with life on a larger scale than some in order to exercise his full potential and reveal himself to himself.  He's just "gotta giver".  He just does.  And, she understands, respects and supports this Truth of his nature.  

She remembers the summer he was home after his first year at University, which was the last time he lived under her roof.  He looked at her and said, "Mom, I love being on my own so much I can hardly remember being under your authority."  At the same time he gradually built up to being fully independent while living at home and, even then, once he was on his own he undoubedly took risks he was lucky to survive as he continued maturing out in the world under his own steam.  She gets all of this.

On the other hand Kipling, who possesses and displays the same spirit of inquiry, independence and drive as her son is her cat that she - living on a busy throughfare, as she does - is obliged to protect.  But, at what cost to his True life?  She understands that (just like her son) for Kipling to fully be Kipling he needs the challenge, and the stimulation, of experiencing himself on his own "out in the world".

Yet another thing to mull over.  And, it's important.  She will have to move the "Eight of Cups" and the "Maiden/Crone connection" over to make room.


_________________________________________________________________

NOTE:  Her other Aby, Oz, is slowly revealing himself to be a real house potato and a real love bug.  While definitely sharing some overall characteristics of the breed with his younger "brother" his personality is completely different.  While she's sure he would not mind going outside, and also sure he has the skills to thrive in the "jungle", he doesn't need this additional dimension added to his life with all of his heart and soul the way Kip does.

Closeness - Illustrated Haiku + Prose (First Posted July 3, 2011)



Okay.

Let’s try this ...

For her, this degree of closeness is real precisely because it is the stuff of faery tales.

She says this because faery tales, myths and fantasies are all stories designed to be deeply felt as well as be instructive.  They are all peopled with archetypal characters who are deeply familiar on a feeling level.    So, for her (a person whose dominant faculty is one of feeling and who also lacks the faculty intended to ground her in everyday, concrete reality) sinking her feelings down, down, down into strong, recognizable "characters" - and their stories - is the stuff of real life.

And, if the truth be told, the more her life feels like (and can be told to herself as) an archetypal story the more it makes sense to her and the more it feels real to her.

Vivid characters appear in tales such as this and they interact and test each other in profound ways.  Challenges of sometimes extreme proportions are undergone (or undertaken) with predictable results (depending on the characters involved).  "Isn't this what life is really all about?" she dares to ask "out loud".

Although she knows she - and everyone else - are only shadows of the archetypes who touch so deeply she also knows, from experience, that some shadows are more substantial than others.  She finds the more she can see an archetype shining through another the more she is attuned to that person.  The clearer the archetype the deeper she can fathom her/him with her feelings and the more she understands the underlying dynamics.

Looking back to her childhood she can see how she was able to draw from the character of a sub-archetype in her psyche - to come to the aid of her mother and younger brother - because she desperately needed to at the time.  Nevertheless, her dominant archetype (the one she personally feels the deepest and the one she has slowly but surely been burning away the dross to best reveal over the course of her life) has always been present and has always been urging her on.  In the final analysis it's all really "just" a feeling BUT it is a feeling that follows a pattern and has a purpose.

At this stage of her life her taproot into her archetype is firmly anchored and this helps make the challenges that come along more understandable and manageable.  She understands that, in the feeling world of archetypes, she is bound to attract the challenges best designed to hone, define and reveal her type.

"Isn't this what life is really all about?" she dares to ask "out loud" once again.

_____________________________________________________________________

archetype 

–noun

1. the original pattern or model from which all things of the same kind are copied or on which they are based; a model or first form; prototype.

2. (in Jungian psychology) a collectively inherited unconscious idea, pattern of thought, image, etc., universally present in individual psyches.

To Good To Be True (First Posted July 2, 1011)



While she was getting ready for work this morning she heard a few tidbits and "sound bites" on CBC Radio One about the grand - and, yes, just a wee bit "royal" - time thousands of her fellow Canadians had yesterday celebrating July 1st on Parliament Hill. 

And, because it was Saturday morning, she also heard about some of the stimulating and enjoyable things there are to do in Ontario in the summer (thanks to Mary Ito on Fresh Air).   The first guest she heard being interviewed by Mary was promoting "Culinary Tourism" in the province, while the second briefly outlined a couple of the fun - and possibly little known - Ontario outings listed on 
http://www.summerfunguide.ca/.

On her way home from work she stopped at her neighbourhood Loblaws where the interior temperature was 0H!-so-cool and where, of course, there was an abundance of foodstuffs to examine, to choose from, to buy and, ultimately, to consume.

And, it is right about here that what is "real" (in earthy, concrete terms) and what is "real for her" (in her water-logged being) reveals its disconnect because she can't, deep down, shake the feeling that every advantage we (still) enjoy as Canadians, and as North Americans, isn't entirely "real".  In fact, to her our plenty  feels like a facade that's getting thinner and thinner with time and eventually the fabric will tear and the "Truth" will be revealed.

(What this capital "T" truth is she isn't entirely sure.)

For argument's sake, let's take our abundance of food and food choices in our grocery stores, because this is an everyday situation that taps into her "unreal reality" the most frequently.  How, (she feels in spite of the fact she is able to see, touch, buy and happily consume her share of this food on display) can it be 100% true that all this food, and all these choices, exist for us when so many people we share the same planet with have naught in the way of either?  It feels like it just cannot be the Truth. 

And, it isn't  the burn of unfairness she feels in response to the vast inequality surrounding the distribution of food (health, education, etc.) across the planet.  Of course there is that, but this feeling is both simpler and deeper than that which arises when she encounters a situation she considers to be unfair. 

It's more like it feels impossible for this inequality to be the Truth of the matter and therefore, on some level,  it feels like it simply is not the Truth.  And, this translates into the literal feeling of "treading lightly" (of "non-attachment") as one naturally feels in the presence of a grand illustion.

She then goes further to feel like we are all being (perhaps blissfully, perhaps self-righteously) duped when we believe we actually possess this much (in this example, food and food choices) when so many other people sharing the same planet have little, to nothing.  

It cannot be the Truth. 

How can it be?

_________________________________________________________

On a lesser note


A grocery aisle filled with breakfast cereal = An embarrassment of riches.

Go Forth & Be Moist - Illustrated Haiku (First Posted July 1, 2011)

Not Firing On All Her Cylinders (First Posted June 28, 2011)



Okay.

So.

According to the astrological blueprint accompanying her birth, only 3 of the 4 elements are present and active in her makeup.  Elementally speaking, "the human point of view that is her" is highly endowed with Water, possesses a lively dash of Fire and a goodly, but not large, breath of Air.  But (and here's the rub) she does not experience, nor house, nor channel any direct influence from the element of Earth.

One could say - in truthfulness and fairness both - that she has a "structural flaw" in her foundation (see Further Note in blog "Ava - Deepak Chopra and The Number Four") and it is her innate inability to fire on all four elemental cylinders which lies behind her focus on the elements in astrology and in tarot (and, occasionally, in other places where they appear in other guises e.g. the "Four Humors" in ancient Greco-Roman medicine and in some present day “personality tests”). 

For years she been working hard to puzzle out for herself  the impact that the omission of a direct connection with the element of Earth makes on her self and on the world as she experiences it.  What has gradually become clear to her is that on the level of earthbound reality it is hard for her to "call a spade a spade" (and then put it to good use) because, on this specific level, she doesn't actually grasp what a spade is and, therefore, what it is most sensibly (realistically) meant for. 

Is this a handicap?  Yes.  In her opinion, it is.  She thinks it is rather like being born without an essential faculty such as sight.  But, similar to being born blind, her remaining faculties compensate for her lack and she does some things - mostly arising out of her abundance of water - quite well.   And, similar to being born blind it is almost impossible to grasp (from what others describe or from any other way) that which one has no direct knowledge of. 

One of the worst aspects of not being able to grasp certain things which are completely obvious to "earthy others" is that she never feels secure enough to act confidently, and unwaveringly, in matters which involve these same certain things.   

One could say this lack makes her truly insecure because it is (nearly) impossible for her to stabilize and ground herself in earthbound reality through grasping (and then appreciating) certain "earthy realities".  This includes grasping (and then appreciating) certain "earthy realities" about herself.  She does not have a firm grasp on (and appreciation of) who she is in earthbound reality terms and therefore she does not know how to best apply herself in practical, realistic ways - the ways designed to advance any person in the earthbound reality aspect of her/his life.

And, to make this matter even more frustrating (to herself and to others), she has been told many useful, "real", practical things about herself over the years by "Earth People" who care about her and sought to lift her out of her mire of 'not knowing'.  But, it was only their grasp of her and/or her situation being imparted which does not (or does not ever easily) become her own grasp.

By far, the "Earth People" who have most populated her life are Capricorns of both genders.  Indirectly, through the placement of her cluster of planets in Scorpio falling in the 10th house (ruled by Capricorn), she has a "Capricorn vibe" and she works and interacts extremely well with them up to a certain point (basically the point where it is time to grasp, and to act, strictly in earthbound reality terms).  It is here where the disconnect can (and often does) occur.  (Poor girl.  She just don't get it.  She can't, in some earthbound reality way, "get real".)

On the other hand, this type of insecurity (flaw) does not make her completely unpredictable, or completely useless or completely impossible to deal with (especially now when she has finally committed to "blooming" on her own terms) it simply means she is, in some earthbound reality way, "unreal".  Occasionally, an especially perceptive person will look her directly in the eyes and say, "You're different," without seeming to mean any harm by it.

Maybe it is fair to say (of her),  "She doesn't know the war is over."  (And, of course to this she replies, "What war?") 

Maybe she is considered by some (or by many) to be one of those "curious folk" who are both very smart and very stupid because this may well be the truth of the matter.

In all honestly she believes it is fair to say she is, as she is, both benign and (alas) a potential source of grave disappointment - depending on what's expected from her.  That's the trick.  She is principled, giving and good-natured (as well as passionately alive) and/but she is all this in a way which jives with the world as she experiences it - a world which lacks the element of concrete, earthbound reality.  So, it is entirely possible she will zig (based on a principle which feels right to her) when the practical, expected and "realistic" course of action would be for her to zag.

Anyway ...

Miraculously, thankfully, (maybe) mysteriously and (perhaps, at times) even tragically she somehow seems to get along.   Her inner structure is not fortified with Earth but it is coherently, effectively and strongly woven together from 6 parts of Water + 3 parts of Fire + 2 parts of Air.

Focused Penetration (backed by)  Idealistic Enthusiasm (backed by) Fair Reasoning

That's what she has to work with and it has to be enough!  It is enough!  It has taken her a long time but this much, at least, she firmly grasps (and appreciates).

Deepak Chopra & The Number 4 (First Posted June 26, 2011)



Dear Reader,

I recently took advantage of the opportunity to attend a lecture given by Deepak Chopra at the unlikely venue of the K-Rock Centre in Kingston.  If you have not heard of Chopra (which is somewhat unlikely given this man’s enormous presence in the realms of medicine, spirituality, writing and lecturing), and would like to know more about him, may I kindly refer you to:  

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deepak_Chopra

Without going into the details of the very interesting material Chopra shared with his audience of keen and like-minded individuals, I would like to bring to light the aspect of the evening which was most provocative for me (as a student of astrology and tarot).

At the beginning of the evening Chopra announced that part way through his presentation he would be leading the audience in a group meditation which he considered to be the true jewel of that which he had come to share.  And, of course, he was true to his word.

He began the meditation by guiding us down, down, down to the ground of our being.  From here, he led us to experience the distinct sensations of our feelings of love, joy and compassion.  Following this, he led us into a period of mental reflection.  Lastly, he led the audience to move our focused energy into various parts of our body.

My experience of this 4 part meditation coincided with my on-going focus on the elemental aspect of both astrology and the tarot.  Specifically:

Meditation Part One
Element = Earth
Tarot = Suit of Pentacles
Astrology = Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn

Meditation Part Two
Element = Water
Tarot = Suit of Cups
Astrology = Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces

Meditation Part Three
Element = Air
Tarot = Suit of Swords
Astrology = Gemini, Libra, Aquarius

Meditation Part Four
Element = Fire
Tarot = Suit of Wands
Astrology = Aries, Leo, Sagittarius

What I found particularly interesting was the order of the four parts of the meditation compared with the order of study of the four suits of the tarot I learned from The Tarot School in New York City, founded by Wald and Ruth Ann Amberstone.   This order is:  Suit of Swords (Air, Thought), Suit of Cups (Water, Feeling), Suit of Wands (Fire, Action) and Suit of Pentacles (Earth, Manifesting).

While for the purpose of a meditation it makes sense one would work up/out from the "ground" of one's being, I also see sense in the above ordering of the 4 suits which constitute the minor arcana of the tarot.  I understand this order to reveal: "(Rightly ordered) thought leads to (rightly ordered) feelings leads to (rightly ordered) action leads to (rightly ordered) manifestation".

Further to this, each of these 4 suits (4 worlds, 4 realms) reveals yet another order which is also very interesting because it goes from top to bottom instead of the other way around (with the latter direction being what one might expect in a "spiritual" discipline).  And, exactly how the energy of each suit fountains down from the top/ace/crown of each suit to the bottom/ten/kingdom - following the design of the Tree of Life in the Qabalah- is a whole other point of interest and one I will share at another time (complete with diagram, I hope).

Happy Summer,

Ava

NOTE:  I am discovering that the  personal interpretation of the minor cards of the tarot I am slowly working on (which is, first and foremost, a study grounded in the four elements) has both a specific and a general focus. Seeing the four elements appear outside the tarot, as in this particular meditation, is an example of a general focus.  Writing (blogging, sharing) helps me to order in my mind what I am learning and/or observing.   I trust the sharing of my general, and my specific, focus vis a vis the four elements is not taking advantage of your good nature as a reader.

FURTHER NOTE

Four: 
Four is the 4th dimension = time which is illusion.
Four is seen as the first solid number. Spatial in scheme or order in manifestation.
Static as opposed to the circular and the dynamic
Wholeness; totality; completion; solid
Earth; order
Rational - relativity and justice
Symbol of measurement
Foundation


Four: The symbolic meaning of number Four deals with stability and invokes the grounded nature of all things. Consider the four seasons, four directions, four elements all these amazingly powerful essences wrapped up in the nice square package of Four. Fours represent solidity, calmness, and home. A recurrence of Four in your life may signify the need to get back to your roots, center yourself, or even "plant" yourself. Fours also indicate a need for persistence and endurance.

Four:  The Pythagoreans believed the number four, the Tetrad, was a perfect number.  They taught that the Tetrad symbolized God.  In Pythagorean philosophy there are four parts to the soul: mind – opinion – science – sense.

Four:  Holds the key to all arrangement and interpretation of form, plans, dreams, ideas, and patterns from the material, mechanical, and rational to the artistic, esthetic and spiritual levels of thought and feeling. It provides the foundation upon which all things stand to sustain life and entity.
“It is the number of rational exposition of principles and ideas. It explains, arranges, constructs, builds, maintains, carries out, and makes exact the system and formulas which provide the matrix for lasting and tangible results.”
It turns raw material into particular forms, phases, and moulds them into harmony with each other. It demonstrates the cosmic order of growth and attainment, and with a powerful and firm hand brings time and space down to earth. It arranges that which has been imagined and dreamed of and makes it concrete and applicable to human living.

The Passageway - Illustrated Haiku (First Posted June 20, 2011)

Tarot - Seven of Cups (First Posted June 13, 2011)



To feel victory (to feel the sensation of 'solidness through mastery') in the suit of cups – also recognized as the “realm of water” and, by another name, as the “world of feeling” – is to deeply feel (then, to understand) the one feeling which has the force to launch a 1,000 ships, move mountains and/or bring about our ruination.  This, of course, is our feeling of desire.  Once you truly understand the way in which desire works, and what it brings about, you then have a choice of either using its force (and paying its price) or detaching from it.

What needs to be truly felt and understood about our feeling of desire is that when this particular and forceful feeling becomes sufficiently aroused we, in turn, become shaped by that which has caused its arousal.  How does this happen?

How does desiring:

position
riches
conquest
adventure
eros
knowledge
agape

deeply enough, strongly enough and with enough focus cause us to become shaped by these classic sources of arousal?

It's because to be shaped by that which arouses our desire requires us to pour ourselves into that very thing.  Once our feeling of desire has been aroused,  it is the feeling of desire itself which leads us (with greater or with lesser success, depending upon our given capacity to feel desire) to conform to the shape of that which has aroused it.  For this is what we most desire to do!

In other words, it is our feeling of desire which focuses our attention, and our energy, to such an extent we are able to actually penetrate that which has aroused us and (once inside and through our feeling faculty) gain intimate knowledge of that which has caused our desire to be piqued.

This, if you think about it, can naturally lead you to wonder if assuming the shape of:

agape
knowledge
eros
adventure
conquest
riches
position

is a "good thing" or a "bad thing".

The Seven of Cups tells us it is neither one, nor the other.  It only tells us feeling and understanding desire is a real, necessary - and therefore worthy - aspect of the "world of feeling" (The Suit of Cups).  But it isn't our final destination in this watery realm.  It's only a stopping place on our journey along the path from the top (Ace/Crown) to the bottom (Ten/Kingdom) of this suit -  after which we will be prepared to meet its royal inhabitants (The Page, The Knight, The Queen and The King).

So, fellow travellers in this elemental realm of water, rest assured there is more to feel (and therefore understand) about our feelings, further along.  But not a lot further for, after all, we have now reached the seventh level of descension into this particular suit of the tarot.

PLEASE NOTE:  This interpretation is based purely on the feelings I experience when I  focus on, and merge with, the images in the card combined with how I understand the Minor Arcana of the Rider-Waite deck dovetails with the Tree of Life in the Qabalah (as taught by Wald and Ruth Ann Amberstone, co-founders of The Tarot School in New York City, NY).

Jumping Through The Hoops - Illustrated Haiku (First Posted June 12, 2011)

Their Second Childhood (First Posted June 7, 2011)



They stopped for a light, mid-morning refreshment in town before meeting her mother and their amiga, Barb, for lunch today in the dining room located on the shoreline behind the house she still thinks of as belonging to the family of “Pesty Westy”.  The one that sits just to the left of the spot where the two of them swam as children.  The one that sits right about where they liberated that old rowboat one summer afternoon and her glasses wound up going overboard and getting lost on the bottom of the lake.  (You can be certain the pair of them did not get in to any trouble for that little caper. Yeah.  Right.  And frogs aren't waterproof either!)

And, right at this point in their leisurely break between shopping and their upcoming lunch ....

She leans over the small, outdoor cafe table and - with her eyes shining directly into her sisterfriend's eyes that are shining back at her - she says, "Guess what?  It feels to me like we are entering into our second childhood."

Bonnie cocks her head curiously and replies, "Do you think?"

"Definitely," she affirms firmly.

As she continued to muse on this feeling she also felt the truth of the fact that eventually she, and everyone else who lives long enough, enters into a second infancy as well.  But, right now, she and her sisterfriend - having raised their children and having dealt the best they each knew how with the "shite" they had accumulated over the years - were, in some way that is both symbolic and real, becoming (as light as) children again.  And it is for this reason it is becoming easier and easier to have so much uncomplicated fun together.

They acknowledged how good they were feeling right at that moment by grinning at each other from ear to ear and clinking their coffee cups (cheers!).  Then they were off to meet Barb (who is sharing this stage of life, and the spirit of this stage, with them) and her mother (who celebrated her birthday on June 2nd and who deeply savours the many blessings, especially that of good health, she is experiencing in the latter years of her second childhood).

The four of them spent the whole afternoon eating, laughing and catching the welcome breeze off the lake.  Some pleasant reminiscing also took place.  Her mother is the last of their three mothers dwelling on this side of the veil making her the "official mother and historian" - a precious reservoir of memories and impressions for all three of these childhood friends to draw from regarding the region they grew up in and its families.  She loves sharing her mother with her two friends because it adds to their happiness, as they add to hers.

Going through her second childhood with her two friends from her first is interesting and amazing because the foundation for this experience was established many, many, many years ago.  The wonderful difference this time around is that everything is now taking place under their own authority and they are, individually and collectively, doing a fine job of living this phase of life to the max in mostly simple, but always very enjoyable, ways.

In ways that make them feel good and make them laugh.  (Cheers!)

_______________________________________________________
After thought:

Circling back to the Forty Year cycle she completed on May 16th - and to the change she is experiencing in her dreams - she wonders if her very real realization that she has come full circle to seamlessly connect her (reconstituted/restored) 16 year old self with her current 56 year old self has served to clear the way for her to feel, so clearly, this doorway into her "second childhood".

And, maybe what is really happening (as those who study and revere a female's natural aging process insist does happen) is she is actually on the verge of entering her "cronehood".

Maybe the crone years are the years a female is intended to live in balanced state of  "wisdom" and "light-heartedness" (resembling, at first blush, a "second childhood" filled with fewer pitfalls and more delight).

That's interesting because she thought the next step after completing this Forty Year cycle was to nourish and support her renewed/reclaimed 16 year old self while this formerly shell-shocked aspect of her self matured.

Now she is wondering if her newly increased level of wholeness and self-possession is intended to grow her "out" and not "up" at this stage of her life.  (She finds the thought of this pleasing, intriguing and energizing so it definitely seems positive.)

______________________________________________________
Hmmm.  She is feeling a trifle glutted with this sudden influx of raw material to process.  But, as she opens herself up to this new puzzle, she wonders .......................... and she imagines .......................  that she is going to need to keep an open mind about a lot of things waiting for her around this particular bend in the road.

Neat!

"Just Mucking Funny" - Illustrated Haiku (First Posted June , 2011)

Dream On (First Posted June 5, 2011)



It’s not easy to explain but there is a way in which her night time dreams have changed over the last few months.

It isn't that she is dreaming less.  It isn't that her dreams have become less complex or less challenging.

Rather, she (or the character she is "playing" in a particular dream) has become more grounded and is better able to hold herself together in situations which would normally confuse, threaten or overwhelm her.  Mostly, this change finds her no longer being haunted by the feeling that, no matter what is happening on the surface, she is deep-down somehow in the wrong.

A lot has transpired since she began giving her feelings and thoughts a public voice.  Being in a position whereby she has to carefully weigh and - at least in her own mind - stand behind each and every word she voices, or publishes, has (by-the-by) created the welcome circumstance where she is now "owning herself" more.

She has long understood that if she can emotionally withstand a particular pressure in a dream (where she has only her subconscious mind to respond, as best it can, to the stimulus of the story it is telling itself) then she can emotionally withstand that same pressure while awake.

Finding she can now better withstand and, also, better navigate the stories in her dreams without abandoning herself leads her to marvel - once again - at the way in which our waking and sleeping experiences cross-pollinate each other.

"A mind is an awesome process," she concludes.

Barber Shop Talk (First Posted June 3, 2011)


There’s always lots of friendly talk and light bantering going on in a barber shop, and the one where she works is no different.

Of course THE WEATHER invariably seems to be the place where most conversations between a barber and her/his customer commence.   But, from here, it is anyone’s guess where things will lead.   True that.

The following is an on-going list called  "The Barber Shop Hot Topic Of The Day" and will be added to each day she works at CFB, Kingston (at least for a while):

June 3, 2011 - the postal strike (which everyone thought was absolutely wrong-headed and/or ludicrous)

June 4, 2011- the K2K fundraising event  (Collectively, participants cycle on stationary bikes from Kingston to Kandahar and back to raise awareness and money for the "Soldier On Fund" and Providence Care Hospital. On route, they pass through [and converse with] locations around the globe where CF members are deployed, including Landstühl, Germany.)

June 9, 2011 - how awesome and ominous the sky looked last night when the storm hit (Global Weirding)

June 10, 2011 - analysis of the Grey Cup final games, to date (WHOOPS ... she means the Stanley Cup ... she's listening ... really, she is!!)

June 11, 2011 - further analysis of the Grey Cup final games, to date (ditto, the above)

Okay!  Enough of this already!  You get the picture.  The talk is pretty much what you might expect in a non-drinking, male stronghold in Canada.

PS:  From her point of view (which happens to be mostly behind and above) the most enjoyable barber/customer conversations revolve around their domestic animals.  Not only do customers (almost without exception) light up in the telling, she finds them the most amusing and the most uplifting stories overall.  She often reflects on how impoverished our human lives would be without each and every living thing we share this world with.

NOTE:  The shop portrayed in the illustration for this blog is "Generations Barber Shop" located on the NE corner of Barrie & Queen Streets in Kingston.  At one time she worked there one day a week as well as at CFB Kingston for another three.

The Power Of Touch (First Posted May 31, 2011)


So.

Okay.

It all started yesterday when she had her first appointment with her new (alternative) health provider who had been recommended by her acupuncturist at her request.  While she did feel well under her acupuncturist’s care – especially with her change of diet – she also knew her repetitively stressed elbows were not responding as optimally as initially forecast.  And, because she simply cannot afford to let the big, bad wolf reach her door, off she went - with her acupuncturist's blessing - in search of further help and support.

Her new ally in her quest for physical health, strength and mobility is a registered massage therapist who has also completed 4 of the 6 years required to become an osteopath and then has tied the two disciplines together with a third, known as "Matrix Repatterning".  So, she is shifting from a treatment modality where the theraputic contact with her body was primarily being made by very fine, sensitively placed needles to one where it is entirely being made by warm, knowledgable hands.

And.

So.

It was while she was receiving her first treatment that she remembered, she remembered, she remembered just how good it feels to be touched intelligently (not too little and not too much and always and only in the right places) and honestly (with both parties respecting each other) - exactly the way one expects to be touched in a theraputic context.   She could feel her body thirstily drinking in and absorbing the trusted, beneficial sensations brought about through the healer's light-but-sure touch.  Her accompanying sense of relief at being (literally) "handled properly" caused tears to spring to her eyes.  "This," she thinks, "is the positive side of the power of touch." 

There is a negative side.

Her mother tells her that as emotionally ardent as she was as a young child she, equally, did not like to be held.  It wasn't that she didn't like to be touched, or to touch.  In fact she was always exploring alluring textures, both indoors and outdoors, with her fingertips.  It was that she did not easily tolerate the feeling of being confined on a lap or in an extended embrace.

Perhaps, as we are warned, there is a way in which we attract that which we most fear.  All she knows for sure is she experienced being physically overwhelmed as a young person and, in one instance, dramatically so.  From this, it would seem, she grew to become (perhaps hyper) discriminating between the feeling of being touched in a way that feels good and touched in a way that makes her feel uncomfortable, or worse.

So.

Yes.

Touch is powerful.  It possesses the power to open or to close.

No Shit Nettle Schnapps Recipe - The Saga Continues (First Posted May 23, 2011)


Okay.

So.

Bonnie, her s-f, finally received her "No Shit Nettle Schnapps Recipe" postcard late last week.
However.

It had been posted in the red mailbox located at the south door of the Canex Building on May 19.  She clearly remembers dropping it off just before going in the door on her way to work that morning.

And, in addition to its rather tardy arrival in Bonnie and Jon’s moulded plastic mailbox planted squarely across the "bumpity-bump road" at the end of their laneway, it did not have a cancellation mark over the stamp.

In fact, it looked as fresh and unblemished as if she had delivered it by her own hand.  But, she hadn't.  She had mailed it across the city and just a little further west.

But, looks can be deceiving.  Therefore, in spite of its surprisingly pristine appearance, she and her s-f laughingly imagine it having been passed through several pairs of hands (and having been read with a mixture of puzzlement and a bit o' pleasure) along the way.

They normally bring their nettle infused vodka out of the shade of the old, built-in corner cupboard of the farm kitchen for Bonnie's birthday,  So, maybe this year - if they listen really, really, really closely - they will hear others "out there" who, like them, are adding a bit of "tonic-ing-it-up" to their hot, still, mid-summer's eve.

Right on!

A Baroque High Tea - Illustrated Haiku (First Posted May 29, 2011)

Happy Birthday To A Fine Pair Of Fellows (First Posted May 28, 2011)


Twenty-eight years ago she hoisted her bulk up off her comfortable chair on the front porch of the old “Bleeker Farm House”, grabbed her already packed valise, waddled directly across Dundas Street to Belleville General Hospital and birthed a fine, healthy baby.  Before she went into the delivery room she predicted her child would be a boy, weighing 8 pounds and 11 ounces, and she was correct on both counts.   What she had no way of knowing at the onset, however, was how immense this baby boy's impact on her life would be.

One year ago a ruddy Abyssinian kitten came into the world destined to make his home with her six months later and become the first of her two, quirky, athletic, sleek, beautifully-coated, long-limbed, and almond-eyed feline companions.

Both of these fine fellows - born twenty-seven years apart on May 28th - are, in one way or another, a dream come true for her.

Notice Regarding Blog Illustrations (First Posted May 25, 2011)

Dear Reader,
 
With very few exceptions I illustrate my blogs.
 
And - again, with very few exceptions - all of my blog illustrations on this website (and all of my blog illustrations on Blogspot from Feb. - Aug, 2010) are entirely of my own creation.  By this I mean every illustration starts with an image I have taken with my "antique" digital camera, then enchanced with graphics software and then finished by adding text (my titles and/or my haiku verse).   And, when an the illustration is entirely of my own creation I sign it with a small AVA.
 
I believe it is important (and fair for all concerned) for you to note that if you don't see this small AVA on an illustration you know the visual aspect of that particular illustration is not entirely of my own devising - although all of the text is!
 
When I run up against a need for an illustration for which I don't possess the right visual ingredients I do look further afield.  For instance, the two pictures I used for the blog "Leo & Scorpio" came about from me combing the Internet and cadging the ones which spoke the loudest to me (and don't these two just holler and shout!). This is also true for both of the birds illustrating the blogs "The Professor" and "Hawk" whereby I started with an image from the Internet and then enhanced it.
 
I also borrow from my son's ever-growing cache of photographs taken on his extensive business and holiday travels (at the time of writing he is on the very long, very bumpy road from McLeod Gange to New Delhi) which he generously shares with his family.  Two examples of this are the illustrations for the blogs "Judgement Day" (which features a software enhanced version of Worth's photo of an almost eerily ornate cathedral in Barcelona) and "Every Thing Gets Old" (another software enhanced image drawn from Worth's photo of ruins in Athens).
 
In addition, the blogs which represent my interpretation of the individual cards making up the minor arcana of the tarot  are each illustrated with its corresponding tarot card from the Rider-Waite deck.
 
You will also find a credited photo portrait of The Open Sesames by photo artist Pam K. being used as part of the illustration for the blog "All The Wheels Were Turning Today".
 
And, there are two signed "hybrids" in the bunch the first of which is the illustration for the blog "World Naked Gardening Day" (a day which, incidentally, provided lots of laughs at the barber shop).  In this case the flowers are my images and the body parts were scanned from a book I had on hand (no pun intended) entitled "The Body:  Photographs of the Human Form" by William A. Ewing.  The second is the illustration for the blog "To Kindle, Or Not To Kindle" which melds a photo of a Kindle not taken by me with one of my own images.
 
Lastly (and this only as a point of interest) two blog illustrations i.e,"Post 'Forty Year Cycle' Insight" and "Merwoman Singular" feature my software enhanced photos of figures I created through the process of clay hand-building.
 
So, right at this moment, you know as much as I do on the topic of illustrations for this blog.  I hope you enjoy each and every one as much as I enjoy coming up with them.
 
Bye For Now,
Ava

PLEASE NOTE:  This blog was originally written to jive with the blogs on The Fiddleguy's website and so doesn't completely line up with the blogs here on "Whistling In The Dark".  But, close enough.

Leo & Scorpio (First Posted June 13, 2011)



Sometimes it is challenging to find the opening which will let her into a piece of writing.  Last night she woke up several times to the echos of words and ideas careening around in her mind (which let her know she was sifting through her unconscious trying to find the doorway into "Leo & Scorpio" while she was sleeping).

It really shouldn't be all that difficult as "Leo & Scorpio" is only meant to be a brief sketch of what is (to her) an interesting aside about her relationship with her sister-friend, Bonnie, viewed through the filter of both astrology and the tarot but without becoming too technical.

So, maybe it is best to lay out the basic facts and build from there.

Fact One:  The day and month of Bonnie's appearance on life's stage is July 30th - making her a native of the fixed fire sign of Leo.

Fact Two:  The day and month of her appearance on life's stage is October 30th - making her a native of the fixed water sign of Scorpio.

Astrologically this means:

When these two birth days are placed where they fit around the 360 degree circle of the zodiac they are joined by a precise 90 degree (right) angle which, in astrological terms, is called a "square".

She experiences the truth of their perfect, astrological "square" when, for instance, they are putting their heads together to plan something.  It's as if they slowly and methodically come at things from their two completely different viewpoints (angles) and eventually they clearly and crisply meet at a very defined point - somehow like a diamond in nature.  And, once they have met at this point there is no need for further amplification or discussion.  Their plan is well and truly made and it is crystal clear in both of their minds.  If, as sometimes happens, a plan needs to be taken apart and rebuilt to make it work better, this process happens in exactly the same manner, i.e., Badum-Badum-Badum-Click.

In terms of tarot this means:

Imagining the the four elemental worlds of Air, Water, Fire, Earth as four upright columns of identical dimensions placed side by side, she occupies the exact same space in the world of Water as Bonnie occupies in the world of Fire.  In other words, when she looks out of her vantage point in the world of Water she looks directly into the eyes of her counterpart in the world of Fire.

Experientially, this provides her with the perfect basis for turning over and over the truth of the claim that each of the four elemental worlds of the tarot, i.e., Air/Swords, Water/Cups, Fire/Wands and Earth/Pentacles is entirely unique from, but also exactly equal to, the other three.

A specific instance when she is aware of their unique position vis a vis each other is when they are executing one of their plans and enjoying its fruits.  Let's say it is going for a long walk in the woods.  Often she notices they are taking completely different walks but, at the same time, they are exactly in synch with each other.  When Bonnie is on a walk she is aware of what is around her in a different manner than she is.  Bonnie's walk is in sharp, fiery focus and she naturally assumes the more active role of taking the lead.  Her walk is in soft, watery focus and she is more than content to flow along behind her sister-friend.  Yet, they are both completely relaxed and capable in this environment and equally confident in each other's ability to handle whatever obstacles or obstructions they might encounter.

In addition, and looping back to astrology, she was struck the other day with the similarity between how she writes and how Bonnie gardens.   When Bonnie was explaining to her how active she has been lately moving plants between her different flower beds she thought to herself, "Why, she edits her gardens the way I edit my writing!"  This trait, she believes, arises out of their shared degree of (Scorpio & Leo) "fixedness" whereby they are equally not content until they have everything "fixed into place" exactly as they best feel things should be and to the best of their abilities.

In conclusion:

What would be even more interesting would be for the two of them to meet up with their remaining two counterparts.  If they were to meet and mingle with a person born on January 30th (native of fixed air sign of Aquarius) and with a person born on April 30th (native of fixed earth sign of Taurus) then astrologically they would exactly form what is known as a "Grand Cross".  How amazing, and instructive, it would be to experience how things work/flow/unfold in this arrangement!  She expects a whole lotta fixin' would be goin' on in the worlds of Air, Water, Fire and Earth.

So, that's pretty much it.

PS:  Does this mean her blog is her garden and Bonnie's garden is Bonnie's blog?