Illustrated Haiku and Story - After 30 Years

She has three girl friends who have been married to their original partner for over 30 years. 

Because this is a phenomena she will never experience, she has been focusing her attention on each of these marriages to learn what she can from these near at hand examples.

Firstly, she recognizes these marriages are not identical in terms of what originally drew each set of partners together and what has kept them together.  Only one exceedingly fortunate couple are, and have always been, a true love match.  The other two marriages came about through personal need combined with social/biological pressures, which is completely normal and not to be scoffed at.

All three have survived despite hardship and adversity with the most loving couple having to deal with their child's limited intellectual capacity (who, during puberty, became absolute hell to manage) while the other two have had to cope with bouts of despair arising from their inability to completely connect.

However, no matter how they have arrived at it, all three couples share an unshakable state of "settledness" in their marriages.  For better, or for worse, they have all settled the big questions of:

1.  Who am I going to live out the rest of my years with?
2.  Who am I going to share my inner and outer resources with?
3.  Who am I going to be family with?
4.  Who am I going to support (or be supported by) at the time of death?

None of the six people involved in these three marriages have to give these big questions a second thought.  Matters are settled - and the individuals are settled - til death do them part. 

She sees there is great comfort and security in this degree of certainty about the present, and the future, and so she finally comprehends the benefits that accrue over the years of "hanging in" with one marriage partner.

In light of what she now realizes does she harbour any regrets about her single status?  It's a good question and she deserves to answer herself honestly. 

Twice she had the opportunity to live with a marriage partner til death do them part (thereby settling the same big questions in her own life) and twice she chose to return to a state of uncertainty. 

She can live with that.

Her regret lies in cheating two partners, and herself, by marrying when her heart wasn't fully in it.  While it's easy (yet truthful) to say "live and learn" in her case an awful lot of living has been required.