Tarot - Eight of Cups (First Posted July 10, 2011)

To feel splendour (to feel the sensation of a peacock's tail fanning gloriously open inside you) in the suit of cups – also recognized as the “realm of water” and, by another name, as the “world of feeling” – is to detect what feeling is lost/buried/missing, to don your scarlet cape and boots and draw on the magnificence of your courage to journey deep within to seek and engage it. 

If you look deep enough, and if you are honest enough with yourself,  you will discover your full complement of feelings isn't complete until you seek, wrestle with, claim and bring to light your feeling of "despair" - the very feeling you normally seek to avoid. 

Why would this be so?  Why does setting out under the pale glimmer of the moon into the dark shadows of your inner recesses to bring forth your feeling of abject hopelessness eventually result in you feeling splendour?

It's because to dwell in the "world of feelings" is to be in the place where you feel the internal energetic and unceasing presence of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams and your burning desires.  And so, of course, what you try to keep hidden from yourself is your feeling of despair (of ever materializing all this that feels as essential to your life as the very blood running through your veins).

So, it takes the mustering of all your courage to choose to retrieve your feeling of despair, bring it forth and allow it to occupy the space midst all you hold dear knowing it eternally threatens to sear you to the bone before knocking you to the ground and draining you of your most cherished feelings which brightly colour your existence and - greater still - give you a reason for living.

However, by deliberately exposing your hopes, dreams and desires to your feeling of despair (that they can ever be realized) you go a long way to fully claiming your citizenship in the "realm of water" which, in turn, leads to a feeling of splendour blazing across your being. 

For, in the Suit of Cups it is both your privilege and your duty to "feel it all" and grasping the thorn of despair not only provides balance (albeit through introducing suffering) it makes that which it threatens all the more precious.

Now move forward from here  ...

Striking The Archetypal Nerve (First Posted July 10, 2011)

Although she did not read the Harry Potter series, she did make a point to see the first movie to try to understand what this popular phenomenon was all about.  It immediately became clear to her that what author JK Rowling had brilliantly done was feed the hunger of young (and not-so-young) readers for a well-crafted, archetypal story.

On the other hand, after hearing Oxford educated (and part-time Oxford professor), Philip Pullman, being interviewed she did read - and deeply appreciate - his fantasy (archetypal) series, "His Dark Materials" the title of which comes from  seventeenth century poet John Milton's Paradise Lost, Book 2:

Into this wilde Abyss,
The Womb of nature and perhaps her Grave,
Of neither Sea, nor Shore, nor Air, nor Fire,
But all these in their pregnant causes mixt
Confus'dly, and which thus must ever fight,
Unless th' Almighty Maker them ordain
His dark materials to create more Worlds,
Into this wilde Abyss the warie fiend
Stood on the brink of Hell and look'd a while,
Pondering his Voyage; for no narrow frith
He had to cross.

— Book 2, lines 910–920

(Aside:  Please note Milton's reference to the 4 elements in line 912).

Currently, at the recommendation of one of her military clients at the barber shop who piqued her interest when he placed himself (as someone who is "trained to kill") in the plot of Cormac McCarthy's novel, "The Road", she is reading the first volume of "The Hunger Games" trilogy.

Like Rowling and Pullman, author Suzanne Collins has written her stories to appeal to younger readers.  What this means - in the case of all 3 authors - is the writing style is simple, yet elegant,  while the story itself is strong, well-crafted and strikes the archetypal nerve of its reader (which, under these exact circumstances, can legitimately and joyfully be of any age).

In Collins' case, the main classical source of her inspiration came from the Greek myth of Theseus and the Minotaur.

Yum!

Go Forth As The Rain - Illustrated Haiku (First Posted Jully 5, 2011)

Whirl Winds (First Posted July 4, 2011)

Again today she was given an opportunity to reflect on the similarities between her Abyssinian cat, Kipling, and her son, Worth.  With her long established astrological filter in place she can't help but be open to perceiving ways in which they seem to be alike, and her focus in this area seems to have sharpened around the time of their recently shared birth day and month (May 28th).  

As an opening sally she stated they are both, in their own way, “a dream come true” (blog:  "Ava - Happy Birthday To A Fine Pair of Fellows").  She can truthfully say this about both of them because she literally dreamt of a male coming into her life and changing it in a way of primary importance (free download: "LWFHLS - Part 4") - a premonition unexpectedly fulfilled through his fathering Worth, the only child of her body - and because she long "dreamt" of learning what living with an Aby would be like.

Today she actually experienced how similar Worth and Kipling are in (you might say) a "behavioural  way" and/or in their "basic nature".

This is what happened ...

Arriving home with a lot on her mind she accidentally left the patio door open and unattended on her second storey landing.  Kipling, naturally, seized this opportunity to satisfy his burning curiosity about what lies beyond the threshold of his dukedom.  She found him down in the grass - quivering with aliveness but also with a degree of tentativeness - and she was able to gather him up and bring him back inside without any evasion, or protest, on his part.  But, once indoors, he gave her a piercing look which said, "So, that's what you are keeping me from.  That's totally fucked up!"  He then immediately began clambering on the screen door, trying to force his way out, with even more intensity than usual.

Which, he did, in almost the next breath because she had to go out to get something on the deck and he seized this opportunity to streak past her with ease.  This time she was right behind him and this time he gave every sign he was determined to evade her clutches.  So, she sat across the top of the stairs and allowed him to explore the deck without feeling the pressure of her pursuit.  When she eventually made another move towards him (and here's where the situation gets freaky) he gave every indication he was prepared to slip through the railings and jump down one full storey to the ground below.  HELLO!

Well, thankfully, she managed to capture him without incident and return him to the right side of the patio door but she was very shaken by his willingness to "roll the dice" in a bid to be free of all restraints hindering him from exploring the great outdoors.  That he is designed to thrive as a full-blooded feline (indoors and out) she kenned about him right from the beginning.  He simply oozes "catness".  So, she was already ambivalent about the true appropriateness of keeping him safely indoors.  Now, after the glaring look he gave her (backed up by his behaviour revealing the extent of his need for freedom) she is going to have to resolve her ever-increasing feeling of being torn and she isn't quite sure how to do that.

Because:

She was able to see her son reflected in her cat's behaviour.  Worth has a great need to roam far and wide in order to test his limits.  He has to see, touch, test, experience and get involved with life on a larger scale than some in order to exercise his full potential and reveal himself to himself.  He's just "gotta giver".  He just does.  And, she understands, respects and supports this Truth of his nature.  

She remembers the summer he was home after his first year at University, which was the last time he lived under her roof.  He looked at her and said, "Mom, I love being on my own so much I can hardly remember being under your authority."  At the same time he gradually built up to being fully independent while living at home and, even then, once he was on his own he undoubedly took risks he was lucky to survive as he continued maturing out in the world under his own steam.  She gets all of this.

On the other hand Kipling, who possesses and displays the same spirit of inquiry, independence and drive as her son is her cat that she - living on a busy throughfare, as she does - is obliged to protect.  But, at what cost to his True life?  She understands that (just like her son) for Kipling to fully be Kipling he needs the challenge, and the stimulation, of experiencing himself on his own "out in the world".

Yet another thing to mull over.  And, it's important.  She will have to move the "Eight of Cups" and the "Maiden/Crone connection" over to make room.

_________________________________________________________________

NOTE:  Her other Aby, Oz, is slowly revealing himself to be a real house potato and a real love bug.  While definitely sharing some overall characteristics of the breed with his younger "brother" his personality is completely different.  While she's sure he would not mind going outside, and also sure he has the skills to thrive in the "jungle", he doesn't need this additional dimension added to his life with all of his heart and soul the way Kip does.

Closeness - Illustrated Haiku + Prose (First Posted July 3, 2011)

Okay.

Let’s try this ...

For her, this degree of closeness is real precisely because it is the stuff of faery tales.

She says this because faery tales, myths and fantasies are all stories designed to be deeply felt as well as be instructive.  They are all peopled with archetypal characters who are deeply familiar on a feeling level.    So, for her (a person whose dominant faculty is one of feeling and who also lacks the faculty intended to ground her in everyday, concrete reality) sinking her feelings down, down, down into strong, recognizable "characters" - and their stories - is the stuff of real life.

And, if the truth be told, the more her life feels like (and can be told to herself as) an archetypal story the more it makes sense to her and the more it feels real to her.

Vivid characters appear in tales such as this and they interact and test each other in profound ways.  Challenges of sometimes extreme proportions are undergone (or undertaken) with predictable results (depending on the characters involved).  "Isn't this what life is really all about?" she dares to ask "out loud".

Although she knows she - and everyone else - are only shadows of the archetypes who touch so deeply she also knows, from experience, that some shadows are more substantial than others.  She finds the more she can see an archetype shining through another the more she is attuned to that person.  The clearer the archetype the deeper she can fathom her/him with her feelings and the more she understands the underlying dynamics.

Looking back to her childhood she can see how she was able to draw from the character of a sub-archetype in her psyche - to come to the aid of her mother and younger brother - because she desperately needed to at the time.  Nevertheless, her dominant archetype (the one she personally feels the deepest and the one she has slowly but surely been burning away the dross to best reveal over the course of her life) has always been present and has always been urging her on.  In the final analysis it's all really "just" a feeling BUT it is a feeling that follows a pattern and has a purpose.

At this stage of her life her taproot into her archetype is firmly anchored and this helps make the challenges that come along more understandable and manageable.  She understands that, in the feeling world of archetypes, she is bound to attract the challenges best designed to hone, define and reveal her type.

"Isn't this what life is really all about?" she dares to ask "out loud" once again.

_____________________________________________________________________

archetype 

–noun

1. the original pattern or model from which all things of the same kind are copied or on which they are based; a model or first form; prototype.

2. (in Jungian psychology) a collectively inherited unconscious idea, pattern of thought, image, etc., universally present in individual psyches.

To Good To Be True (First Posted July 2, 1011)

While she was getting ready for work this morning she heard a few tidbits and "sound bites" on CBC Radio One about the grand - and, yes, just a wee bit "royal" - time thousands of her fellow Canadians had yesterday celebrating July 1st on Parliament Hill. 

And, because it was Saturday morning, she also heard about some of the stimulating and enjoyable things there are to do in Ontario in the summer (thanks to Mary Ito on Fresh Air).   The first guest she heard being interviewed by Mary was promoting "Culinary Tourism" in the province, while the second briefly outlined a couple of the fun - and possibly little known - Ontario outings listed on http://www.summerfunguide.ca/.

On her way home from work she stopped at her neighbourhood Loblaws where the interior temperature was 0H!-so-cool and where, of course, there was an abundance of foodstuffs to examine, to choose from, to buy and, ultimately, to consume.

And, it is right about here that what is "real" (in earthy, concrete terms) and what is "real for her" (in her water-logged being) reveals its disconnect because she can't, deep down, shake the feeling that every advantage we (still) enjoy as Canadians, and as North Americans, isn't entirely "real".  In fact, to her our plenty  feels like a facade that's getting thinner and thinner with time and eventually the fabric will tear and the "Truth" will be revealed.

(What this capital "T" truth is she isn't entirely sure.)

For argument's sake, let's take our abundance of food and food choices in our grocery stores, because this is an everyday situation that taps into her "unreal reality" the most frequently.  How, (she feels in spite of the fact she is able to see, touch, buy and happily consume her share of this food on display) can it be 100% true that all this food, and all these choices, exist for us when so many people we share the same planet with have naught in the way of either?  It feels like it just cannot be the Truth. 

And, it isn't  the burn of unfairness she feels in response to the vast inequality surrounding the distribution of food (health, education, etc.) across the planet.  Of course there is that, but this feeling is both simpler and deeper than that which arises when she encounters a situation she considers to be unfair. 

It's more like it feels impossible for this inequality to be the Truth of the matter and therefore, on some level,  it feels like it simply is not the Truth.  And, this translates into the literal feeling of "treading lightly" (of "non-attachment") as one naturally feels in the presence of a grand illustion.

She then goes further to feel like we are all being (perhaps blissfully, perhaps self-righteously) duped when we believe we actually possess this much (in this example, food and food choices) when so many other people sharing the same planet have little, to nothing.  

It cannot be the Truth. 

How can it be?

_________________________________________________________

On a lesser note: 

A grocery aisle filled with breakfast cereal = An embarrassment of riches.

Go Forth & Be Moist - Illustrated Haiku (First Posted July 1, 2011)

Not Firing On All Her Cylinders (First Posted June 28, 2011)

Okay.

So.

According to the astrological blueprint accompanying her birth, only 3 of the 4 elements are present and active in her makeup.  Elementally speaking, "the human point of view that is her" is highly endowed with Water, possesses a lively dash of Fire and a goodly, but not large, breath of Air.  But (and here's the rub) she does not experience, nor house, nor channel any direct influence from the element of Earth.

One could say - in truthfulness and fairness both - that she has a "structural flaw" in her foundation (see Further Note in blog "Ava - Deepak Chopra and The Number Four") and it is her innate inability to fire on all four elemental cylinders which lies behind her focus on the elements in astrology and in tarot (and, occasionally, in other places where they appear in other guises e.g. the "Four Humors" in ancient Greco-Roman medicine and in some present day “personality tests”). 

For years she been working hard to puzzle out for herself  the impact that the omission of a direct connection with the element of Earth makes on her self and on the world as she experiences it.  What has gradually become clear to her is that on the level of earthbound reality it is hard for her to "call a spade a spade" (and then put it to good use) because, on this specific level, she doesn't actually grasp what a spade is and, therefore, what it is most sensibly (realistically) meant for. 

Is this a handicap?  Yes.  In her opinion, it is.  She thinks it is rather like being born without an essential faculty such as sight.  But, similar to being born blind, her remaining faculties compensate for her lack and she does some things - mostly arising out of her abundance of water - quite well.   And, similar to being born blind it is almost impossible to grasp (from what others describe or from any other way) that which one has no direct knowledge of. 

One of the worst aspects of not being able to grasp certain things which are completely obvious to "earthy others" is that she never feels secure enough to act confidently, and unwaveringly, in matters which involve these same certain things.   

One could say this lack makes her truly insecure because it is (nearly) impossible for her to stabilize and ground herself in earthbound reality through grasping (and then appreciating) certain "earthy realities".  This includes grasping (and then appreciating) certain "earthy realities" about herself.  She does not have a firm grasp on (and appreciation of) who she is in earthbound reality terms and therefore she does not know how to best apply herself in practical, realistic ways - the ways designed to advance any person in the earthbound reality aspect of her/his life.

And, to make this matter even more frustrating (to herself and to others), she has been told many useful, "real", practical things about herself over the years by "Earth People" who care about her and sought to lift her out of her mire of 'not knowing'.  But, it was only their grasp of her and/or her situation being imparted which does not (or does not ever easily) become her own grasp.

By far, the "Earth People" who have most populated her life are Capricorns of both genders.  Indirectly, through the placement of her cluster of planets in Scorpio falling in the 10th house (ruled by Capricorn), she has a "Capricorn vibe" and she works and interacts extremely well with them up to a certain point (basically the point where it is time to grasp, and to act, strictly in earthbound reality terms).  It is here where the disconnect can (and often does) occur.  (Poor girl.  She just don't get it.  She can't, in some earthbound reality way, "get real".)

On the other hand, this type of insecurity (flaw) does not make her completely unpredictable, or completely useless or completely impossible to deal with (especially now when she has finally committed to "blooming" on her own terms) it simply means she is, in some earthbound reality way, "unreal".  Occasionally, an especially perceptive person will look her directly in the eyes and say, "You're different," without seeming to mean any harm by it.

Maybe it is fair to say (of her),  "She doesn't know the war is over."  (And, of course to this she replies, "What war?") 

Maybe she is considered by some (or by many) to be one of those "curious folk" who are both very smart and very stupid because this may well be the truth of the matter.

In all honestly she believes it is fair to say she is, as she is, both benign and (alas) a potential source of grave disappointment - depending on what's expected from her.  That's the trick.  She is principled, giving and good-natured (as well as passionately alive) and/but she is all this in a way which jives with the world as she experiences it - a world which lacks the element of concrete, earthbound reality.  So, it is entirely possible she will zig (based on a principle which feels right to her) when the practical, expected and "realistic" course of action would be for her to zag.

Anyway ...

Miraculously, thankfully, (maybe) mysteriously and (perhaps, at times) even tragically she somehow seems to get along.   Her inner structure is not fortified with Earth but it is coherently, effectively and strongly woven together from 6 parts of Water + 3 parts of Fire + 2 parts of Air.

Focused Penetration (backed by)  Idealistic Enthusiasm (backed by) Fair Reasoning

That's what she has to work with and it has to be enough!  It is enough!  It has taken her a long time but this much, at least, she firmly grasps (and appreciates).

Deepak Chopra & The Number 4 (First Posted June 26, 2011)

Dear Reader,

I recently took advantage of the opportunity to attend a lecture given by Deepak Chopra at the unlikely venue of the K-Rock Centre in Kingston.  If you have not heard of Chopra (which is somewhat unlikely given this man’s enormous presence in the realms of medicine, spirituality, writing and lecturing), and would like to know more about him, may I kindly refer you to:  

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deepak_Chopra

Without going into the details of the very interesting material Chopra shared with his audience of keen and like-minded individuals, I would like to bring to light the aspect of the evening which was most provocative for me (as a student of astrology and tarot).

At the beginning of the evening Chopra announced that part way through his presentation he would be leading the audience in a group meditation which he considered to be the true jewel of that which he had come to share.  And, of course, he was true to his word.

He began the meditation by guiding us down, down, down to the ground of our being.  From here, he led us to experience the distinct sensations of our feelings of love, joy and compassion.  Following this, he led us into a period of mental reflection.  Lastly, he led the audience to move our focused energy into various parts of our body.

My experience of this 4 part meditation coincided with my on-going focus on the elemental aspect of both astrology and the tarot.  Specifically:

Meditation Part One
Element = Earth
Tarot = Suit of Pentacles
Astrology = Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn

Meditation Part Two
Element = Water
Tarot = Suit of Cups
Astrology = Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces

Meditation Part Three
Element = Air
Tarot = Suit of Swords
Astrology = Gemini, Libra, Aquarius

Meditation Part Four
Element = Fire
Tarot = Suit of Wands
Astrology = Aries, Leo, Sagittarius

What I found particularly interesting was the order of the four parts of the meditation compared with the order of study of the four suits of the tarot I learned from The Tarot School in New York City, founded by Wald and Ruth Ann Amberstone.   This order is:  Suit of Swords (Air, Thought), Suit of Cups (Water, Feeling), Suit of Wands (Fire, Action) and Suit of Pentacles (Earth, Manifesting).

While for the purpose of a meditation it makes sense one would work up/out from the "ground" of one's being, I also see sense in the above ordering of the 4 suits which constitute the minor arcana of the tarot.  I understand this order to reveal: "(Rightly ordered) thought leads to (rightly ordered) feelings leads to (rightly ordered) action leads to (rightly ordered) manifestation".

Further to this, each of these 4 suits (4 worlds, 4 realms) reveals yet another order which is also very interesting because it goes from top to bottom instead of the other way around (with the latter direction being what one might expect in a "spiritual" discipline).  And, exactly how the energy of each suit fountains down from the top/ace/crown of each suit to the bottom/ten/kingdom - following the design of the Tree of Life in the Qabalah- is a whole other point of interest and one I will share at another time (complete with diagram, I hope).

Happy Summer,

Ava

NOTE:  I am discovering that the  personal interpretation of the minor cards of the tarot I am slowly working on (which is, first and foremost, a study grounded in the four elements) has both a specific and a general focus. Seeing the four elements appear outside the tarot, as in this particular meditation, is an example of a general focus.  Writing (blogging, sharing) helps me to order in my mind what I am learning and/or observing.   I trust the sharing of my general, and my specific, focus vis a vis the four elements is not taking advantage of your good nature as a reader.

FURTHER NOTE: 

Four: 

Four is the 4th dimension = time which is illusion.
Four is seen as the first solid number. Spatial in scheme or order in manifestation.
Static as opposed to the circular and the dynamic
Wholeness; totality; completion; solid
Earth; order
Rational - relativity and justice
Symbol of measurement
Foundation

Four: The symbolic meaning of number Four deals with stability and invokes the grounded nature of all things. Consider the four seasons, four directions, four elements all these amazingly powerful essences wrapped up in the nice square package of Four. Fours represent solidity, calmness, and home. A recurrence of Four in your life may signify the need to get back to your roots, center yourself, or even "plant" yourself. Fours also indicate a need for persistence and endurance.

Four:  The Pythagoreans believed the number four, the Tetrad, was a perfect number.  They taught that the Tetrad symbolized God.  In Pythagorean philosophy there are four parts to the soul: mind – opinion – science – sense.

Four:  Holds the key to all arrangement and interpretation of form, plans, dreams, ideas, and patterns from the material, mechanical, and rational to the artistic, esthetic and spiritual levels of thought and feeling. It provides the foundation upon which all things stand to sustain life and entity.

“It is the number of rational exposition of principles and ideas. It explains, arranges, constructs, builds, maintains, carries out, and makes exact the system and formulas which provide the matrix for lasting and tangible results.”

It turns raw material into particular forms, phases, and moulds them into harmony with each other. It demonstrates the cosmic order of growth and attainment, and with a powerful and firm hand brings time and space down to earth. It arranges that which has been imagined and dreamed of and makes it concrete and applicable to human living.

The Passageway - Illustrated Haiku (First Posted June 20, 2011)